There is
nothing natural about running off a hill with a backpack on filled with 3 kilogram of paraglide material. I repeat: there is nothing natural about running off a hill. And still I ran off that hill 8 times. I do everything in order to fly and in order to remember that I have wings. I am not sure what was the driving force exactly, something deep inside of me did not want to live in fear any longer. Because a life filled with fear is a trapped life, an imprisonment of our own making.
So I agreed to come to India and to learn paragliding. I am not sure how paragliding is conducted in other places around the world but what I do know is that the course here is pretty crazy. It looks as follows. You do 3 days of groundtraining followed with 4 days of flying in order to get your solo flying certificate. This gives you a certificate that you can fly anywhere in the world with walkie-talkie guidance from a qualified instructor.
Let me dive into the ground training. The ground training equals running with your glide on the back. Not once, but about 40 times a day. So that you understand exactly what the glider is doing, how it is responding to the wind, how to inflate the glider and in which direction to run to. So you run against the wind, feel the glider inflate, drop the raisers and hold the break in the right position. And sometimes you fail. The glider suddenly goes towards the left, or worst case even in front of you (pretty dangerous during take-off).
I enjoyed the ground training a lot. It is a nice feeling to run full force while you know that you are held back by a wing. How many opportunities do you get in life to run full force? I think most of us run half force, we dip our toes into the water and that is it. During the ground training I felt what it was like to run full force.
After the ground training you are ready to fly. At least they think so. So you climb 800 meters by car and stand on a cliff on 2400 meters in the Himalayan mountains. There you have about 10 meters to run in the right direction from a cliff that is strongly going down and hope that your wing inflates as supposed to. It is absolutely crazy. I think this is what you can call the art of surrender. And I had a lot to learn. The first time I ran I was terrified. I had no clue what to do and felt like a man without head running down a hill. When I went up in the air I still had no clue what to do, because fun part: They only teach us to take off on the ground and shortly explain how to fly and how to land but that part we cannot practice. So there you are, holding your glider in your hands, flying through the sky. I cried. Or let’s say it differently. My body cried. A release of pure fear.
I have been scared in my life. I have been scared many times. But never like this. This was pure fear. Stored in my body. And it wanted to go out. So I cried and then relaxed again trying to focus on the landing and the instructions that are given. I cannot say I enjoyed the first day even though I landed safely.
It was on the second day that something shifted. I felt a release of fear again deep out of my system and then felt a bliss, an ecstacy, a freedom. I heard a voice: you are living your life based on fear. When other people see my life they would not think so because I do so much, travel over the entire world solo, but I know that I can do more. I know that fear is still running the show on the side, with jumping into opportunities, with connecting with people, with eating and with sports. And I made a choice by coming to India, to get rid of this fear for once and for all. I want enjoyment and peace to run the show, not fear.
And how can you get rid of fear when we never hit it to such an extent that it gets touched? We cannot. In my opinion the only way to feel the deeply stored emotions inside of us (unconscious and conscious), is to feel them, and to feel them we need to be in situations that trigger them. I understand that most people do not make this choice, but I feel like deep down coming to this life I made a different choice, to not live in the confines of fear (Ben Howard’s song).
During the week I felt my energy shift from fear to peace and joy. Not like that, but little by little. Every time I ran off the hill I gained more confidence in myself and I learnt the art of surrender in my equipment, in the guidance and into the vast sky. It was only on the last day that I wanted to ran off the hill, that I knew it would be okay. One time I broke on the way down because I did not feel the glider, one time I hit the ground with my bum and one time I almost hit the trees. But every time I responded well and landed safely.
I am allowed to fly solo now. Anywhere in the world. I still have a lot to learn but I have learnt to surrender deeper. To the possibilities that life brings. To our ability to fly. To the masters out there that can teach us skills. And to myself and my own intuition. I have learned how to fly.
